At the risk of shameless self promotion (well there is actually little risk) my recent bit of writing is now published for the world to see.
It can be downloaded in a variety of ebook formats from:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/255287
You can view a sample there of the first few chapters (which may be more than enough) or can currently set the price of what you think it is worth to grab the whole thing. The suggested amount at this stage is $0, but hey, you might get a laugh or two out of it. Any feedback would be welcome so it can be further improved.
Here is a sneak peek from later on in the book:
The rest of the chickens rage was blunted when Jesus leapt forwards and kicked the defenceless animal with his steel-toed boot. Jesus was satisfied by the sight of his target sailing off into the distance. This was driven from the sheer force of his expertly trained Japanese Ninja snap-kick.
Father and Son stood waiting for the flying object to complete its arc and return to Earth so they could deal with the chicken a little more brutally. However instead of this promptly occurring they found themselves waiting for quite a long time. After that time expired, they were still waiting, the chicken seemingly defying gravity as it refused to complete its fall to ground. For a further two hours they patiently stood on the featureless ground but still the inevitable had not occurred and still disappearing further into the distance was the improvised football
Jesus knew that the chicken could not be itself flying away. This was because he was pretty sure that he had killed the thing with his fury. At least, he mused, he had managed to smash most of the important bones and organs. The large puddle of blood left on the thick cap of his shoe seemed to confirm this line of reasoning.
And yet, he didn’t come down, and instead continued to drift away. Finally, inevitably, it was completely out of sight, lost in the great heat haze that stretched out before them.
“Well…” God finally said as the small speck disappeared from view. The mystery of how gravity was being ignored weighing heavily on them.
Then just as suddenly as the chicken had been mostly turned inside out they knew, as the answer to all their questions became all too clear to them. Gravity was not being defied at all but rather there was no effective gravity to speak of. Suddenly, they knew that they were no longer even on Earth. Possibly it was the sight of the earth itself, off away into the far off sky that gave it away. Actually, it was that, so there you go.
“So, do you have any idea where we actually are?” Jesus asked his Father.
He didn’t respond for quite some time as he considered their surroundings. When he did, it wasn’t particularly worth the excessive wait.
….
What did he say? Well you will need to read on. Believe it or not, that all makes sense somewhat in context. Really the important part of the whole process was to create something that I was happy with. I’m not sure at this stage that I achieved that, but I am very happy with myself for having a go.
The Toddhunter Report 